


A Bloodstained Chance

by kaneki_vampire



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kaneki never meets Arima, M/M, Murder, Non Cannon Compliant, Pain, Post Anteiku Raid, Tragedy, V14 doesn't happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-31 11:00:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6467578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaneki_vampire/pseuds/kaneki_vampire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki is heavily injured in the Anteiku raid and in desperate need of help. Almost dead, he finds himself somewhere he never expected to be, with someone who was never supposed to know what he was. Hide is left to care for an unconcious and bloodstained ghoul, wanted by the CCG. He needs to find out how much of his best friend is left and see if he can save Kaneki from himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The ally was dark, the happy lights of the street beyond it glowed warmly in the cold night. People were rushing around, desperately trying to get everything they needed for the weekend ahead. Couples walked along, leaning into each-other, laughing as they tried to stay warm. There was an element of fear in the air, an undercurrent of uneasiness which made the people move that bit faster, stopped them from looking into dark corners and prevented them from walking down dark alleyways. Tokyo was not safe at night, it was never really safe, but daylight gave the illusion of protection and most people chose to believe that the monsters that stalked the streets would not attack them without the cover of darkness. This was not always true, many ghouls preferred the safety and anonymity of darkness, but some, the desperate, strong or the stupid would still hunt during the day.

The ghoul underworld was a dangerous place, a world where the only rule was kill or be killed. Kaneki leaned heavily against the shadowed wall, blood dripping through the massive tear in his battle suit, forming a puddle underneath him. He would have to move again, of this he was sure, but for some reason he had stopped. He was losing strength, undoubtedly he needed to eat, but he allowed himself to rest for just a minute, to watch the world that he could no longer be part of. A minute turned to five and Kaneki was still there, he was now sitting against the wall. The severity of his injury had finally caught up to him. He cursed himself for not eating when Tsuikyama brought in meat last week, he’d refused on the grounds that he was not hungry. A blatant lie, visible to all, but ignored. The others knew it was pointless to attempt to persuade him. He regretted that now. He was not healing, his blood dripping out in a constant never ending stream. He knew and was more certain of this now than ever before, that if anyone walked down this ally, they would die and he would become a murderer.

The pain was dull, if he didn’t move he could even pretend it was not there. Kaneki knew this was a bad thing, it meant that he was very far gone, had lost far too much blood. He vaguely hoped the others would worry about where he was, they would get over his death soon enough. Laughter bubbled up his throat, sending spasms of pain through his whole being. He gritted his teeth, trying not to scream. He found it funny how he’d gone through so much during the raid only to be killed by a fluke strike from an investigator with only one arm. Exhausted he leaned heavily into the wall, hunger ripping through every fibre of his being, the desire to eat, to stop this pain was almost overwhelming. The world swam in front of his eyes, the lights at the end of the ally appeared to dance, drawing Kaneki in. Another spasm of pain, sharper this time focused his vision and his senses reactivated. The sharp tangy scent of blood permeated the area, sharp and metallic it made him so, so hungry. Footsteps and laughter suddenly echoed down narrow passage. Weakly, he pushed himself up, his hands slipping in the blood he lay in. 

Two college age boys were walking, or should he say staggering, towards him, clearly drunk off their heads. One of the boys fell over, clearly unconscious, not more than five meters away from the prone body of the ghoul lying in the corner. Kaneki didn’t even give the other boy time to scream before he was on him. Heavily injured, there was no way that Kaneki was going to heal properly from eating these two, he needed time, the alcohol alone would slow the process, but it was all he had. Kaneki moved fast, as only a starving ghoul can, all rational thought gone, all pain ignored, and he tore into the neck of the still standing boy. Wet sounds of crunching, splashing and squelching were all that could be heard, echoing off the narrow walls. Strong teeth ripped into supple flesh, ripping it off bone with the kind of desperation that begets starvation. Kaneki was covered in blood, the blood that continued to pour from his side, though now at a far slower rate, and the blood of the boy whose stomach he currently had his hands inside. Slowly, as the hunger abated Kaneki came back to his senses, and was horrified. He had killed a human…

He backed up slowly, eyes fixed on the scene before him. Blood painted the walls of the narrow space in a macabre imitation of graffiti. The boy lay torn to shreds, barely visible as a human being, his friend lay unconscious a few feet away. He fought the sudden urge to be sick at the interested growl of his stomach, he needed the food after all, said a voice in his head, it was only natural so why was he fighting it. The voice was sickly sweet and spoke as if everything was incredibly simple and oh so reasonable, he was a ghoul after all, and didn’t human meat just taste so much better than the rank alternative. Kaneki ran.

Still heavily injured, although now beginning to heal, he staggered into an abandoned building site and collapsed against the nearest wall. He couldn’t go on like this, the pain wracked his body in spasms, shaking his entire body. It was impossible for him to tell how much of the trembling was from the pain and how much from the guilt. The night was cold and still and Kaneki was clothed only in his thin, and now heavily damaged, battle suit and absolutely covered in thick, wet, sticky blood. His hair was stiff and his skin only showed through the mask of blood in very few places, white shining out against a backdrop of red. He pulled his mask off his face, careful not to rip it and looked at the blood encrusted leather. Bits of flesh were hanging from between the hooks of the zip which opened the mouth and Kaneki shuddered and dropped the hideous thing, burying his face in his stained hands. He was a monster. 

He became aware that he was crying slowly, the tears from his human eye were clear and made streaks of white in the red as they washed the blood off his hands. The tears from his ghoul eye were red and invisible against the backdrop of blood that covered him. His kakugan remained active, he was still healing. Steeling himself, he looked down at his wound. The majority of his side was gone, red flesh weeping and torn muscle glinting darkly in the light of the streetlamps outside. He could see the white shapes of bones underneath his skin, some broken, some healing. The wound was awful, and if that was what it looked like now, having fed (he still refused to think about it) he did not want to even imagine what it had looked like before. Refusing to stare at the wound any more he looked around at where he had ended up. He was wards away from his safe house and suspiciously close to Kami University. Maybe that is where the two boys he… No he wouldn't think of that. Another shudder wracked his vulnerable body, he couldn’t hold out much longer in the open. He needed to get to somewhere warm and safe. Anteiku was gone, burned in the raid, despite his trying to help. The fight was over now and his friends were in all likelihood dead, he couldn’t save them. He couldn’t save anyone. 

Despair settled over him like a blanket. He was useless, said the voice in his head, useless and pathetic, just not strong enough. If he couldn’t save the others how was he supposed to save his most precious person, who was so much more vulnerable than them? So much more breakable. Hide… he could not think of him now. Not when he was so close to where they used to live, not two blocks away from Hide’s apartment. Hide… he would think him a monster now, covered in blood, a murderer. He could never see Hide again, doomed to be close, so, so close, but ever so far away. Kaneki pushed himself to his feet, he needed to get somewhere warm. He had stopped shaking now, but that wasn’t necessarily a good sign, in fact, it meant that his body was giving up. Part of him just wanted to call it quits now, if he died now nobody would know. They would just assume he had been killed in the raid, another success for the CCG. But if anyone had survived… he couldn’t die just yet. He needed to see if they were alive. Hinami hadn’t fought, neither had Touka or Banjou. He needed to protect them… and Hide… 

Wrenching himself upright, he barely felt the shot of agony that originated from his side at the rough treatment of his body. Scarcely months since his torture his body was stronger than ever but also weaker, he really should take better care of himself. He could hear Hide saying that, he used to say that whenever he didn’t eat or didn’t defend himself against bullies, against his mother… Hide… 

Kaneki had been walking with his head down, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible – as inconspicuous as an injured ghoul with red hair covered in blood could look. His feet stopped in front of a nondescript apartment building. He looked up and was instantly rooted to the spot, almost delirious with pain and exhaustion. This was Hide’s building. Fear thrilled through him, not now, not Hide. But his subconscious had already moved his feet up the stairs and before he knew it, he was standing outside Hide’s apartment. A brief worry surfaced, what if Hide had moved? What if he was about to have to kill another innocent person because they saw him. He knew logically that he would probably collapse before he had the chance to kill anyone. If it wasn’t Hide on the other side of the door, one way or another he would most probably be dead before morning. 

Kaneki raised a bloodstained hand to the yellow door and knocked three times before collapsing heavily onto a wall, leaning on it as if it were his only hope of standing up – which incidentally it was. He needed to rest and he would die if he stayed outside. After an immeasurable time, he mustered the energy to have one more go, knocking far more lightly than before. Nobody answered, and Kaneki gave up, slumping down the wall completely. Hide’s neighbours would doubtless find him and call the CCG and he would die. He couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. He was done.

Dimly he registered footsteps on the stairs, coming to a stop when he became visible. A sharp intake of breath was heard. So he was to die sooner rather than later… fair enough. He drifted into unconsciousness just as the person unfroze and rushed towards him, catching his torso before he hit the ground. He had fallen on his bad side and the pain roused him slightly, just enough that he heard the persons voice before he drifted into oblivion.

“Kaneki?!...”


	2. Chapter 2

Kaneki woke up slowly, his whole body aching. Everything felt so heavy, he wasn’t sure if he was even capable of movement. And for a wonderful moment he felt almost human. His heart jumped, reassuring him that it still worked, maybe he was still human. In that grey haze where everything feels padded and the world looks soft Kaneki could believe it, if only for a second. It was always worse in the morning, that’s always when he knew his brain would try to trick him into believing what he so wished to be true. Sometimes Hide is there, he is not scared and he stays. Those are the worst dreams of all because the pain they leave lasts for days, the image of what can never be is haunting. The occasional day when he’ll wake up feeling human are almost as bad. He feels so hungry and so human that sometimes he’s raided the store of ‘human food’ they have at the flat to keep up appearances and will promptly spend the rest of the day throwing up. Logically he knows that this feeling is only because his RC cell count is ridiculously low due to injury or self-imposed starvation - most often a combination of both. Kaneki also knows that in that state he is weak, and weakness means he can’t protect anybody. It’s always this thought that drives the white haired boy up, makes him move, makes him and strengthens the resolve that even though he can’t be human he can keep others human by stopping Kanou and Aogiri.

Its with that thought in mind that the events of the past 24 hours caught up with him, the fight, the blood, the pain… The pain at least was still there, a constant in his life. The throbbing in his side reminded him that he needed to move, needed to get out of... wherever he was. Moving was hard, everything hurt, every muscle in his body screamed at him to stay still. He moved anyway. Slowly, painstakingly slowly, he moved his hand up to his face. His movements were stiff and stilted and his sense of touch vague and indistinct. Despite this he could still feel the almost dry tracks of blood around his eyes and mouth and the stiffness of his hair. His mask was gone. 

Regardless of the agony he shot up into a sitting position and promptly fell back down almost blacking out in pain. The impact was cushioned by something soft and he froze. Frantically casting his mind back for answers he saw red, so much red and a heavenly taste, buttery and warm in his mouth and oh so satisfying. He had become a murderer. The thought shocked him out of the pain induced haze, restarting him. Best not to dwell on that thought now. With iron resolve he shut the errant thought down into the recesses of his mind. That dark place where the memories of a black and white floor and the laughing of a purple haired woman lived. With great difficulty Kaneki opened his eyes. Everything was blurry. Once more he reached up to his face and attempted to rub the blood off his eyelids as he was pretty sure they were glued shut with it. 

“Kaneki! You’re awake! No don’t move, I’ll be right back – promise!!” 

The sound of retreating feet running across a wooden floor and a door slamming into a wall threw the world into harsh reality again. Everything sharpened, the comfortable haze of sleep was ripped asunder and his world became pain. Kaneki embraced the pain, pain was good, pain meant he was alive. That voice had been… no he was not allowed to think that, Hide was safe, he didn’t know… He couldn’t know. Fighting back the hunger that threatened to engulf him and the pain that was burning through is every sinew, Kaneki pushed himself up. The world threatened to go black, turning fuzzy around the edges and for the first time he took stock of exactly where he was. There was no mistaking it. The piles of video games thrown haphazardly next to a flat screen TV propped up on top of what was probably originally a bookshelf. The coffee table covered in notes, folders, unwashed coffee cups that had probably sat there for weeks. The futon that was never folded up and was permanently covered in washing in various stages of cleanliness. The futon that was an unmistakable shade of garish yellow and covered in sunflowers. Only one person would own an item like that. Kaneki went cold, it was as if ice had been poured over him. 

“Hide…” 

The word escaped him in what was barely a whisper. His voice was cracked and husky from screaming and subsequent disuse. No, it couldn’t be Hide, it couldn’t be… The signs were unmistakable though. He’d recognise that futon anywhere, and that coffee table, the contents of which would be routinely shoved off and dismissed every time they had to study. The video games he was forever telling Hide should be put in the bloody bookshelf if he insisted on using it as a TV stand and not actually putting any books in it. Hide had laughed when he said that. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Lost in thought and pain he barely registered when the door slammed shut and feet raced across the floor. He did register it when the hand came down on his shoulder, gently, so gently.   
Kaneki was gone, he’d shot across the room so fast he hadn’t even registered the agony it was to move. He hit the wall by the TV, causing a few random DVD’s to fall off their precarious stack. The wound in his side sent white hot fire throughout his whole body and despite his best attempts he swayed. Kaneki couldn’t fight, he knew that, the person across the room knew that – he refused to think it was Hide. Every limb shaking, the white haired boy pulled himself into a rudimentary fighting position, back still pressed against the wall – no way could he move away from it, he’d fall if he did. He was not expecting the small laugh that sounded more like a sob from the shadow across the room. 

“Hey, you don’t have to fight anymore” 

The words were so gentle, so kind… Kaneki slid down the wall, completely unaware of the bloodstain he left behind on the cheerful yellow wallpaper. Hide – he couldn’t deny it anymore – was across the room from him. He was in Hide’s apartment. Hide knew. This time he didn’t even hear the other boy cross the room or pull him into his arms with what was definitely a sob. He barely heard the soft chanting of his name from the other who was holding him so softly. He did feel the drops of water, tears, which fell on his cheek. Pulling himself back from the edge was harder this time. He’d been so comfy, so warm, even for such a brief time. 

“Hide…”

His voice was stronger this time – a soft whisper – but Hide heard him and clutched him closer. With the awareness of Hide’s stronger grip, the pain returned full force. The hunger returned too. A vicious, stabbing hunger that clawed at his insides and infected his mind causing him to curl over on himself to attempt to ease some of the pain. 

“Hide it hurts…” 

A whimper escaped his lips and he brought his arm up to his mouth and he bit down. The metallic taste of blood only made the hunger worse and he sobbed louder, every cry pulling at the wound on his side, causing it to bleed even more. Hide stood, bringing the curled up white haired boy with him. Kaneki barely straightened at all. The blonde ended up with an armful of shaking ghoul, driven mad with pain and hunger, and completely unable to feed him. Hide had been at the raid, he’d seen first-hand what his friend could do, the type of injury he could sustain and come back from. During the raid he’d seen countless ghouls die from far lesser injuries than the one Kaneki currently sported. He couldn’t imagine the pain his friend was in – he didn’t want to. He only knew that he couldn’t possibly help Kaneki without feeding him. 

Hide had tried to make Kaneki more comfortable, he’d put him on the sofa because damn the little ghoul was heavy! He couldn’t carry him for long. After picking him up off the doorstep of his apartment, he’d staggered in, placed his friend down as gently as he could – desperately trying to avoid looking at his injury – and promptly run back out to clean the blood off the ground outside as best he could. The last thing Kaneki needed at this point was to attract the attention of anyone from the CCG or suspicious neighbours who could alert them. Hide had almost laughed at the irony, here he was, a CCG investigator – well investigation assistant – harbouring a ghoul. Not just harbouring at that after all he was actively seeking to improve the health of said ghoul.   
To that end Hide had been lost. He’d tried to clean Kaneki up slightly but there was so much blood that he’d just given up after a while. He couldn’t get the battle suit off either. Not that he’d even really tried if he was honest. The fabric had all but melded with his skin and he didn’t want to risk taking it off and undoing any of the healing that had already happened. Essentially he’d been pushed in at the deep end. Kaneki was curled up on the sofa and he refused to un-curl even when Hide asked nicely, pleaded, begged and then got creative. He tried placing books on top of the mess he’d made of the coffee table, he tried putting on a nature documentary, he’d even tried an awful action movie that he knew Kaneki hated. All to no avail. He could not make the ghoul budge. On second thoughts though, Kaneki never would have moved for Hide’s Naruto manga anyway… The closest he came to actually succeeding in rousing the white haired boy was when he made coffee. Kaneki stirred and looked as if he would uncurl but just as quickly retreated back into the sofa cushions in ball shape. Hide was lost. 

Very quickly he’d come to the conclusion that Kaneki had to eat, this was abundantly obvious. The kaukugan had never deactivated in his best friends eye – something Hide was sure Kaneki was unaware of. His wound was also not healing. The other reason that Hide had not proceeded further in his attempts to clean up his best friend was that he honestly couldn’t look at the injury for longer than a second without feeling very ill indeed. It wasn’t so much a wound that Kaneki had sustained… His whole side was just gone… Hide had taken first aid classes at Kami and then even more when he joined the CCG – he was qualified. But nothing had prepared him for this. How do you go about treating someone for a lost side? Hide nearly giggled at that. He was going into shock – logically he knew this – but he refused to acknowledge this fact, nope he was not thinking about the large missing piece of his friend. 

In a valiant attempt at distraction Hide had grabbed his phone. He didn’t listen to music like he normally would have done when he was stressed. No, he doubted he could concentrate on music with the laboured and pained breaths coming from the shape under the blanket on the sofa. Hide refused to acknowledge the fact that placing the blanket over his friend was just as much for his sanity as it was for Kaneki’s warmth. Trying desperately to ignore the plaintive noises from across the room – he was sure they were unintentional anyway – Hide was forced to acknowledge that he couldn’t do this alone. He’d always thought that finding Kaneki and convincing him to come back, to stop fighting, would be the hard bit. He never imagined Kaneki would come to him – or that he would be in such a state when he did. Hide also tried not to dwell on the fact that if Kaneki had been fine he probably never would have come to him in the first place. He grudgingly admitted to himself that he couldn’t handle this alone, the first aid kit he had was in no way equipped for this level of damage. Heck if a human had sustained the kind of injury Kaneki was sporting they would not need a first aid kit – they’d need a morgue. For the first time Hide praised whoever was listening for Kaneki’s transformation. 

Looking back to his phone, Hide scrolled through his contacts. He’d not been idle since Kaneki’s disappearance, he knew a lot more about the ghoul underworld and politics than he by all rights should. Now he was absolutely certain that the staff of Anteiku had been ghouls – he’d basically known before but there’s nothing like a full scale CCG raid to confirm it. He stopped as the name Kirishima Touka crossed his screen. He’d got her number when he had met her at Kami that time, under the pretence of offering her advice or help if she ever needed it. He hesitated over the call button then jerked up at a particularly loud creek in the sofa. Kaneki was shaking violently under the blanket, parts of which had turned a disturbing shade of brown. 

Hide pressed call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the (very) long wait! No exuses except life. Hope you enjoyed it - please comment and leave Kudos - they are food for unmotivated writers!!


	3. Chapter 3

The phone rang loudly in the silence of the room. Touka was sitting on what was technically supposed to be a step ladder but had been repurposed as a chair. Yomo’s shipping container was a pathetic excuse for a flat. Sure it was fine if there was only one of you and you didn’t care if one day your ‘home’ got picked up – less fine if there were five of you. Yomo had relocated her, apparently her flat wasn’t safe anymore. She’d wanted to fight. She’d wanted to fight so badly – the others were fighting. Koma and Irimi, the manager, all of them. How many would come back? In in the midst of all this where was Kaneki? She hadn’t seen him since the fiasco on the bridge. He was gone, surely he wouldn’t be fighting. Uta and Itori had shown up some time after the raid had started, Yomo had forbidden her from watching it on TV originally but didn’t stop Uta when he turned it on. 

Touka’s eyes were glued to the screen as the smoking wreckage of the only place she had ever felt safe was lit up by helicopter spotlights. The commentator had been saying something about how lucky they were that the CCG was able to stamp out such places. At this Touka had picked up the remote and muted it. Somehow the scene was worse in the silence. It retained a gravity that it had not had when that stupid woman was blabbing on about how awful ghouls are. ‘I know just how awful ghouls are,’ Touka thought to herself, “but humans can also be monsters’. The screen had switched to a CCG convoy blocking the street. Dust could be seen rising behind the cars – some of which were definitely broken. The words scrolling across the screen read ‘Owl vanquished by CCG’s finest’. Touka turned off the TV. 

Their rag tag group sat there in silence after that. Uta and Itori had decided that Yomo’s bed (which was in the same room as everything else – really a shipping container was a stupid place to live) was the best place to sit and had made what looked like a nest. Yomo himself was very still in the only actual chair is apartment seemed to have. Uta had picked up Tsukiyama from a rooftop somewhere and brought him as well. He was an absolute mess. The purple haired man was usually so composed, if highly annoying and very dangerous. To see him break down like this was hard in ways Touka hadn’t expected it to be. He hadn’t said anything since he’d been dragged in by Uta, he just sat in the corner crying silently. Nobody had asked why.   
Touka was cautious, she had to be. She had two, well three, different ring tones for her contacts. One for ghouls, one for humans and a special one for Yoriko. She didn’t pick up the phone if the caller was not in her contacts. Ever. So when the phone rang with the ring tone reserved for humans she froze. Yomo, the only one who knew about her classification system, snapped round to stare at her. 

“Hide” Touka read out.

“Who?” Yomo was suddenly right next to her.

“Kaneki’s human friend, you know the annoying blonde one that used to come into Anteiku all the time.” 

“Why is he calling you?” 

“I don’t know you idiot.” normally Touka would never have spoken to Yomo like that but tensions were running high. Uta and Itori were pretending not to be interested in the conversation but were definitely listening – Tsukiyama still hadn’t moved. They all watched the phone ring until there was silence again. Nobody moved. The phone rang again – ‘Hide’. They ignored it. When the phone rang for the fourth time Touka caved and picked it up. 

“What?” she all but shouted down the phone.

“Oh thank God,” Hide sounded terrified, his voice on the edge of being a sob, “please, you have to help me.”

“What?” Touka was incredulous, this day just kept getting worse. 

“It’s Kaneki.” She froze and four heads snapped round to look at her. She knew they’d been listening. Nobody even breathed. 

“He’s here and he’s injured. I know he is a ghoul and I know you are too so please help me. I’m not going to turn either of you in – God I’d never do that. But Kaneki needs help and,” Hide’s voice cracked, “he needs to eat. I don’t care about that but he needs human meat and I don’t really have any of that for him… God’s Touka, his whole side is just… gone.” The panic in his voice was almost palpable. Touka herself was terrified, a human knew who she was, what she was. Yomo looked thunderously angry. When she replied her mouth tasted like ash.

“I’m on my way. Text me the address.” She hung up. 

Uta was already on his feet and Tsukiyama had been suspiciously knocked unconscious. Shoving a duffle bag at her, Uta wrenched the door open and pushed her and Yomo out of it. 

“Go, we’ll take care of things here – Irimi and Koma know where to come.” His tone was firm and brokered no arguments. The two ran. Touka had never run so fast in her whole life, she felt like she was flying. Both ghouls were ukaku types which meant they had speed on their side, but if they wanted to get to Kaneki before it was too late they’d have to sustain this speed for a lot longer. The address Hide had given was in the 20th ward near Kami University – not far from Anteiku, but it was not in the area covered by the CCG operation. Kaneki could conceivably have managed to get to that area while heavily injured, but it was unlikely. 

The closer they got the harder it was to stay calm. Touka was terrified. The whole ward was swarming with doves and Kaneki could quite easily die or eat Hide. Not that she was overly worried about him eating Hide, if he was going to he probably would have already. From what she knew of Hide he seemed nice if absolutely insane but she wouldn’t really care if Kaneki ate him. However Kaneki would care and she didn’t want to even think about the fall out eating his best friend would cause. The closer they got to the address the stronger the smell of blood became. She had tried to ignore the faint scent, dismissing it as the scent coming from the battle. Closer though it was unmistakable. Kaneki had been here and he’d lost a lot of blood. Dropping down into an alleyway the two ghouls were almost knocked over by the smell of blood. Touka’s stomach growled – she ignored it. Turning the corner the sight that greeted them looked like something out of a horror movie. On one wall there were numerous bloody handprints and marks that looked like a giant had decided to use blood as finger-paint. A huge bloody drag mark down the wall lead to one of the biggest puddles of blood Touka had ever seen. It stank of Kaneki. Looking around further she saw Yomo crouched by the side of a corpse, although it was barely recognisable as having once been human. Bones were sticking out all over the place and the vast majority of the body was just… gone. A few feet away there was another body, this boy appeared to be no more than unconscious. They didn’t stay long. 

Back in his apartment Hide was pacing. The blood from Kaneki’s wound had completely soaked through the blanket Hide had covered him with and had started to drip onto the floor. Kaneki himself just felt cold. The whole world was narrowed down to two feelings, cold and pain. He couldn’t even feel the hunger anymore. He didn’t think he could move even if he wanted to. His thoughts were sluggish and his arms felt like lead. He was shaking, he knew this in a kind of disembodied way. He wasn’t really present, he was just drifting, floating along. Once Hide and he had watched Watership Down together, it was a western film and he hadn’t really understood it all. To be honest it had been fairly creepy but there had been a song that stuck with him. He’d looked it up later, it was one of the very few songs he actually knew… _“Bright eyes, burning like fire. Bright eyes, how could you close and fail? How could the light that burned so brightly suddenly burn so pale…”_ He was dying, he knew that. He wasn’t scared, not really. He was almost glad. Maybe the black rabbit of death was coming for him after all, he’d have chuckled at that thought if he could. But laughing was difficult when you only had half a diaphragm and only one fully functional lung. The world faded out again and Kaneki let it, he let himself drift. He stopped feeling the pain and the shaking. His senses faded out until there was just the cold. 

Hide was scared. After all this time he’d found Kaneki and now he was dying and there was absolutely nothing he could do to help. He turned around and slammed his hands down on the counter top in frustration. His shoulder screamed in agony as he did so. He’d forgotten about his injury. Kaneki had been so far gone when he’d thrown himself across the room, out of his mind with pain and hunger and he’d taken a bite out of Hide. Not a particularly big bite mind you but it had blead a lot and was very painful. He wasn’t angry at all, just incredibly frustrated that he couldn’t do more to help Kaneki. 

Touka and Yomo had found the address. Hide had directed them to an apartment building. He was on the 5th floor according to the text. Five floors was a lot of stairs to climb without a side. Both ghouls could smell Kaneki’s blood still, but it was weaker here and carried the overtone of bleach. Hide wasn’t stupid – he’d cleared up the evidence linking Kaneki back here. Touka was almost impressed. Yomo tried the elevator – broken, and too slow anyway. Panting heavily the two ghouls ran up the stairs. They didn’t need the text to tell them which apartment was Hide’s. He’d done a good job of clearing up the blood, but the scent was so strong that any ghoul with a working nose would be able to tell Kaneki had been here. The bright yellow door was a surprise though and contrasted hugely with the situation. Touka almost laughed. Yomo rang the doorbell. Seconds later it was answered.

Touka had only really met Hide once, although she had served him coffee many more times. If she remembered rightly she had even threatened to kill him once – not that he knew that. The boy who opened the door to them was not the Hide she remembered. This Hide was covered in blood and wearing a CCG battle suit. Both ghouls stopped in their tracks. Touka was kicking herself, just because she’d met the guy once didn’t make him trustworthy or the fact that he said Kaneki was here. He could have injured him himself and dragged him here to lure more ghouls in. Hide was part of the CCG. Hide was also completely oblivious to the struggle the two ghouls were facing. He’d totally forgotten about his outfit. 

“Oh thank god you are here. Thank you Touka thank you so much.” He opened the door for her and her companion. Hide didn’t know the other man but he decided this was not his biggest concern at the moment. Neither ghoul moved. 

“What?” Touka startled at the blonde’s question, Yomo remained perfectly still. She just looked at him with wide eyes. Well aware that if this situation was genuine they were wasting potentially valuable time. Eventually she choked out a response.

“CCG.” It was barely a whisper and so full of fear it was practically an admission in itself. ‘I am a ghoul’ it screamed ‘please kill me’. 

“Oh,” Hide looked shocked, as if he’d only just realised what he was wearing, “Yes, I was with them. I was at the raid… I joined to look for Kaneki… I found him, or rather he found me. I need your help”. Everything he said came out in a rush, the urgency in his voice convincing Touka at least. Hide had left the door wide open and the coppery tang of blood in the air was unmistakable. She rushed in, swiftly followed by Yomo and Hide and stopped when she saw him. 

Kaneki was sheet white, as if all the blood had drained out of him – which by the ever expanding pool of blood on and around the couch was quite possible. He was also shaking violently. His small body wracked with tremors so strong they caused the whole couch to move. The blanket covering him was sodden with blood although it was clear that some attempt had been made to staunch the bleeding and bandage the injury. Yomo got to work immediately, stripping the blanket off the smaller ghouls body. When Touka actually saw the wound she felt ill and turned away. Hide had been right, Kaneki’s side was just… gone. Hide stood watching the silver haired ghoul bend over his best friend. He’d never felt so helpless in his whole life.

“I tried…” He sounded as if he had been strangled, his voice husky and broken. Touka turned to look at him. Hide was strong, of this she had no doubt, not anymore. He had called two unknown ghouls who for all he knew would sooner kill him than help him. His best friend was bleeding out on his sofa and he’d clearly tried everything. He also said he’d been at the raid – he must have been shattered. For a moment Touka felt sympathy for the odd human. Hide turned away and vanished around a corner appearing minutes later with two black coffees.

“I’m not the best at making coffee but I don’t think it’s that bad!” His smile was very forced, but Touka appreciated the effort. Yomo had by this point peeled most of the battle suit from Kaneki’s small frame, exposing the wound in all its horrific glory. The boy in question was unconscious or at least too far gone to respond, at least until Yomo retrieved the duffle bag full of human meat. His low voice travelled across the apartment.

“Hide, you may want to look away for this – it won’t be pretty.” Hide didn’t move and Yomo gave a small shrug as if to say ‘oh well, your choice’. Both Hide and Touka’s eyes were glued to the scene in front of them, Touka gripping her mug so tight she was afraid it would crack. The tension in the room was so thick it could almost be cut with a knife. Then Yomo spoke again, his tone matter of fact and business-like. 

“He has eaten since sustaining this injury but from the smell of those boys in the ally I’d say they’d had more than enough to drink before he got to them. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was actually doing him more harm than good. Honestly if this was anyone other than Kaneki they’d already be dead.” As he said this, he unwrapped the first package and held it near Kaneki’s face. The white haired boy’s reaction was instantaneous. He lunged for the slab of meat wolfing it down faster than Touka would have thought possible. Yomo was ready with the next one. They continued in this way for a while, every so often Yomo would refuse to give Kaneki a package until he’d actually swallowed the previous one despite the younger ghoul’s desperate attempts to snatch it from him. Kaneki was far too weak to cause any damage to Yomo anyway. Touka and Hide watched in sick fascination, coffee forgotten. Eventually Yomo stopped giving Kaneki anything and they all watched with baited breath.

For what seemed like an eternity the three held their breath, watching the boy on the sofa for any sign of movement. Yomo had managed to stop the bleeding by this time but none present knew if this was because there was no more blood. The injury was healing, slowly but surely. Hide let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and collapsed onto the hideous yellow futon. Touka sat down in a more controlled manner on one of Hide’s armchairs, not caring how many papers she squashed – Hide didn’t seem to care either. Yomo vanished to the bathroom to wash Kaneki’s blood off him as best he could. 

Kaneki was on fire. From being freezing cold and almost dead he’d flipped round to being so hot he couldn’t breathe and so so hungry. He could feel that he’d eaten, could feel the tissues repairing themselves and his blood replenishing. It was agony. After Yamori he was sure he could take anything – any amount of pain would be nothing – but he was wrong. The pain slowly got worse as new tissues bridged the gaping hole in his side, he felt bones move back to their original positions. The pain overwhelmed him and the world went dark. His last thoughts, the same word chanted over and over… ‘Hide…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments I got from the last chapter! Sure enough motivation has struck and Chapter 3 has arrived! Hope you enjoy it! Once again, please leave comments and Kudos - writer food!!


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